Previous England skipper Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet deal with the full implications of the muscle-wasting condition that claimed the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was part of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and lifted several English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after discovering he has the illness.
"There's a certain confronting what lies ahead and hesitating to really process that at the minute," he said.
"It's not that I don't understand where it's going. We grasp that. But there is absolutely a reluctance to confront the future for now."
Moody, conversing alongside his wife Annie, states instead he feels "peaceful" as he focuses on his current health, his family and getting ready for when the disease deteriorates.
"Perhaps that's surprise or maybe I process things differently, and after I have the details, it's easier," he added.
Early Symptoms
Moody discovered he had MND after observing some reduced power in his shoulder while exercising in the gym.
After physiotherapy failed to improve the problem, a set of scans showed neural pathways in his brain and spinal cord had been compromised by MND.
"You're given this medical finding of MND and we're appropriately quite affected about it, but it's rather peculiar because I think nothing's wrong," he remarked.
"I don't feel ill. I don't experience poorly
"My symptoms are very minor. I have a small amount of muscle wasting in the fingers and the shoulder region.
"I continue to be capable of doing all activities. And with luck that will persist for as long as is attainable."
Condition Advancement
MND can progress quickly.
As per the non-profit MND Association, the disease kills a 33% of people within a year and over half within 730 days of identification, as ingestion and breathing become more difficult.
Medical care can only retard deterioration.
"It's never me that I am upset for," stated an moved Moody.
"It's the sadness around having to break the news to my mum - as an single child - and the ramifications that has for her."
Family Effect
Speaking from the household with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was consumed with sentiment when he spoke about telling his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the heartbreaking news, commenting: "That represented the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two excellent boys and that was pretty upsetting," Moody said.
"We sat on the settee in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog leapt across and started cleaning the moisture off our faces, which was rather silly."
Moody stated the priority was remaining in the moment.
"There exists no solution and that is why you have to be very strongly concentrated on just accepting and enjoying everything now," he stated.
"According to Annie, we've been truly blessed that the only real determination I made when I concluded playing was to devote as much period with the kids as feasible. We don't get those years back."
Athlete Association
Professional sportspeople are unevenly affected by MND, with studies suggesting the prevalence of the disease is up to sixfold elevated than in the broader public.
It is believed that by reducing the O2 available and causing harm to motor neurone cells, frequent, strenuous exercise can initiate the condition in those already predisposed.
Sports Career
Moody, who gained 71 England caps and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in recognition of his courageous, persistent style to the game.
He played through a bone injury of his leg for a period with Leicester and once caused a practice scuffle with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he discarded a tackle pad and started throwing himself into collisions.
After entering as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the end of the set piece in the critical moment of play, establishing a platform for scrum-half Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the game-deciding drop-goal.
Backing System
Moody has previously notified Johnson, who led England to that title, and a couple of other ex- team-mates about his medical situation, but the others will be discovering his news with the rest of public.
"There will be a time when we'll need to rely on their support but, at the minute, just having that kind of love and acknowledgment that people are available is all that matters," he commented.
"Rugby is such a excellent group.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even when it finished now, I've appreciated all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you have the opportunity to consider your passion your profession, it's one of the most significant honors.
"Achieving this for so considerable a duration with the teams that I did it with was a joy. And I know they will desire to support in every way they can and I anticipate having those discussions."
